019; Today

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Collie who stayed up way too late last night. She then had to wake up very early so that she could let the Maytag repair man in to fix the washing machine. Collie, tired as she was, was bold and determined to do this so that she might have clean clothing. You see, Collie had been living in festering squalor for nigh two weeks. Dirty, smelly clothing is not condusive for the good sex, children.

And so Collie woke up and stayed up (Yay!). However, Collie is a stupid cow and decided, "It's early and I'm sleepy so I will eat a lot of sugar to wake myself up!" So Collie noshed on chocolate like it was going out of style, only Collie forgot that she is not only newly lactose intolerant, but her meds (Which she takes at 10:00am and 10:00pm respectively) insist that she not partake of any dairy for two hours prior and six hours after dosage.

Needless to say, Collie has been in gut-throbbing pain for the past nine hours.

So Collie, being the incredibly, devastatingly, "Holy crap, how did you even remember to get dressed this morning?!" absent-minded-sort decided to take drastic measures, and so now her hands bear the mark of the stupid... a mark that she must bear because she was, in fact, stupid. But she has fuzzy, striped sock, so most people forgive her because they're cute.

Other than that, Collie effed off on the computer all day and did laundry, and the world was good (Especially for that four-hour window between 4:00pm and 8:00pm where Collie was allowed to have dairy and had a bite of macaroni and cheese and it was like a godsend).

Fin.